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Oh swoon! Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are caught mid-kiss at Cannes

OH my dreams have come true, oh le swoon, oh le happiness. I can now go to bed knowing that the greatest love of all time has been publicly caught on camera, in a kiss to end all kisses. Oh life is great. I shall dream of Bella and Edward tonight, oh sweet vampires if only you were real.

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The 2012 Maxim hot 100 list, really?

Has everybody seen the Maxim hot 100 list? I realize that when lists are compiled, especially ones concerning beauty, that not everybody will be satisfied. Obviously beauty is defined differently, depending on the beholder. With this in mind, I can understand some of the top choices while not necessarily agreeing with them. I don’t find Bar Refaeli to be the most gorgeous woman on the list, though I can understand why she would or could claim the title.

However, there are those that are truly making me question the judgement of those that compiled the list. Here are some of the notable what the fucks, that come to mind (in no real order):

  1. Amanda Knox (Is this supposed to drive controversy, and increase the popularity of Maxim?)
  2. Pippa Middleton (She has to be the most boring, plainest English woman included on this list. My household plants are more attractive and exciting than this woman. Pippa Middleton is plain porridge with NO sugar added.)
  3. JWOWW (What the fuck is this name, is she some kind of porn star?)
  4. Kristen Bell (Meh.)
  5. Stacey Keibler (Is this a popularity contest, or did George Clooney just make the list?)
  6. Lake Bell (I really don’t know. While her face is certainly unique, should she really be part of the hot 100 list?)
  7. Rihanna (Are we ignoring all of her fashion missteps as of late?)
  8. Selena Gomez (I thought this was a list of women. Selena Gomez has the face of a forever child, and I feel like a pedophile looking at ‘sexy’ pictures of her.)
  9. Jennifer Love Hewitt (WTF! Do men really find this try-hard, has-been woman attractive?!??)
  10. Ashley Green (Really? This Twilight star wannabe?)
  11. Lea Michelle (Um. Her personality really cancels out any attractiveness that she may have.)
  12. Katy Perry (Do her jugs really make up for everything else?)

This isn’t so much a list of attractiveness, as it is popularity.

Where is Emilia Clarke, Natalie Portman, Kristin Kreuk, Jessica Chastain, Zoe Kravitz, Chanel Iman, Amanda Seyfried, Emily Blunt, Priyanka Chopra, Irina Shayk, Freida Pinto, Liv Tyler, Angelina Jolie (yes she is skinny, but you can’t deny she has a gorgeous face), and Giselle Bundchen to name a few…

Is Kristen Stewart still the best dressed?

Was she ever? What a horribly tacky outfit. What’s with the blocks of colour, the different fabrics, the shiny, pointy bodice. Why does this dress even exist? And what are those shoes? They look like pumps that have been tied to her feet with bandages. Is this the new hipster hospital chic?

And will this girl ever do something about her hair? I get that she has beautiful long brown hair, but does it always have to be the same? It looks like she rolled out of bed, forgot to wash her hair, and threw on some items that were lying around her bed. Everything about this screams “I know I am hot, and I can do whatever I want, so I wont even try”.

Ashley Greene in a pretend wedding gown

Yes I just stated the obvious. Why is Ashley Greene even invited to the MET? Aside from some shitty vampire movies, has she been in anything else that required acting?

Is it just me, or has she become more of a toothpick than ever before? Ashley Greene is so tiny I could probably wrap my arms around this girl twice. This is not a compliment.

Kellan Lutz is a tool (nothing new)…

Look at this Oompa Loompa. How can anybody think this is a good look. From his hat to his mismatched tie/shirt/jacket combo. Has anyone ever thought of this man as good looking???