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Is Nicole Richie pregnant?

Who knew there was an awards ceremony for perfume? Apparently there is an award for everything now. The rich and famous just love to pat themselves on the back for being ‘amazing’, don’t they? Do celebrities even play a part in creating their own fragrances to begin with? Are they not just a name that is placed to a scent?

As a side note, here is Nicole Richie looking beautiful at the FiFi Awards. Is she pregnant? Why do her tatas look so huge, and is it the gown or does she have a bit of a bulge around her stomach. I am not one to hate on a woman for being a little bloated, as it happens to all of us women at least once a month. So if this is the case, then please ignore my comments.

Nicole Richie in private hospital

Very very thin Nicole RichieHer publicist(s) are saying that she is “working” with doctors and nutritionists on an undisclosed problem. Hm.

I picture a conveyor belt of donuts a-la Simpsons with Nicole being strapped into a chair, her nose plugged with one of those swimming nose plugs, while a machine is chewing the food for her and she is forced to swallow dozens of donuts at a time.

Man. I wish I had her problems. Unfortunately it’s all the other way for me. The last time I went for a walk is when firemen broke the side wall of my house down and I was lowered in a crane from the 5th floor in order to be drained of my fluids to give me a new lease on life.

Damn. Some people have all the luck. Like me and about a billion starving children that could only wish they were working with teams of doctors and nutritionists.

Nicole Richie breaks up with Jenner

Brody Jenner that is! Of the Tennessee Jenners! No. Just kidding. I don’t know where he is from. I was just saying that in the style of the Beverly Hill Billies. You know? “Let me tell you a story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer … ” Etc.

What was I on about? Oh yes. Nicole Richie. The 80 pound, 1-inch-ankle, pain in the ass has broken up with Brody Jenner after 2 months of going out. US Magazine broke this story.