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Donald Trump makes words of wisdom come out his ass

Donald Trump has spoken out on Paris Hilton:

Paris said she wants to build a brand just like Donald Trump. And I don’t know if she’s done it the same way but she is smart like a fox. People say, ‘Oh, she’s not smart, she’s not this, she’s not that.’ She’s done a very good job.

Donald Trump and Larry KingDonald who the f*ck are you kidding? Who? Not me. If a donkey said something nice about you, you would be on your knees pleasuring it orally. Give me a break you giant, toupe-ed, douchebag. Oh sorry. Those are glorified hair extensions, not a toupe. My bad.

What’s this picture about, you ask? That’s a picture of Larry King petting the wolverine that has woven its nest on Donald Trump’s head.

Anna Nicole Smith really living up to the trailer trash moniker

Yesterday on Larry King Live, Anna Nicole Smith’s long time hanger-on and friend Howard K. Stern (who purports to also be her lawyer) admitted that he is the father of Smith’s baby.

Quelle surprise. At this point, the only thing that separates Anna Nicole Smith from the trailer park is a couple of million dollars and some diet pills.

But seriously. This is a story right out of Jerry Springer, since earlier in the summer “freelance journalist” Larry Birkhead claimed to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby and asked for a paternity suit. All we need is some folding chairs to be thrown around and an audience wearing triple extra-large football jerseys yelling “JERRY! JERRY!”

Howard K. Stern has disputed Birkhead’s claim. Stern says that he believes himself to be the father and that he loves Anna Nicole Smith and hopes that she shares his feelings. How sad are you Stern? Have you ever considered getting a real job you giant freaking douche bag?

What’s most immoral about this is that whoever impregnated Anna Nicole, pretty impregnated a functionally retarded person. Poor Anna Nicole and poor baby.