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Federline, Federline, Federline…

According to The Sun in the British Isles, K-Fed is trying to hawk a sextape of him and Britney Spears. The price tag somewhere in the neighbourhood of $50 mil.

Now you can tell that Britney is not not-inbred and not not-a-hick and not not-deserving-of-the-stupidest-person-award. I mean, ok… She’s the wounded party here and we should all feel sorry for her for the douche-baggy way that Kevin Federline is behaving… But come the hell on! You married a man who thinks Professional Wrestling is high art and Cheetos are high cuisine!

Ok fine. Maybe she thought him good looking and a great conversationalist like her cousins who are also her sisters, but… To make a sextape with him? Screw the sextape… To have children with him??! Listen. She deserves what she gets and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

I’m sure that Federline won’t get $50 mil for the tape. He’s waiting too long. But a cool $15 mil will be just enough to keep him in the lifestyle to which he’s become accustomed: drinking that fancy Coors Light and wearing pants.

The name of Britney’s new baby

Sutton Pierce Federline. Why didn’t she just call it Hick McRedneck Federline? If you want your baby to wear a mullet, have no front teeth, and brush its hair with a shotgun when it grows up — the surest way to do it is by calling the new baby Sutton Pierce Federline.

K-Fed is one of a kind

One of a kind of <insert expletive here>. No seriously. He is a douchebag. He was plugging his album on the Ellen show and then did a live performance of a song (Lose Control). All I have to say is that he is such a scumbag. I don’t know there is something very creepy and lizardy about him. It might just be me, but I feel it. Just listen to the lyrics. I don’t know. Check it out for yourself: