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Larry Birkhead pines for his (?) daughter

Anna Nicole Smith and Larry BirkheadLarry Birkhead has been posting various things about Dannie Lynn Smith on his website (and you have to see this site to believe it, it can only go one of 2 ways: creepy/insane or actual father). Dannie Lynn is Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter, while the father we are not so sure of.

Anna Nicole Smith’s groupie Howard K. Stern claimed to be the father, right after Larry Birkhead announced his candidacy. Birkhead has filed a paternity suit against Smith in California to get her back from the Bahamas and let him assert his fatherhood over Dannie Lynn.

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Anna Nicole Smith’s Douchebag

No this is not about an inanimate object used for douching.

This entry is about Howard K. Stern. Apparently some friends of Anna Nicole’s have spoken out on Stern and the Douchebag Award that I gave him earlier, seems to be well awarded.

Anna Nicole Smith’s former manager had this to say about Stern’s commitment ceremony to Anna Nicole in the Bahamas:

Howard is not the nicest person in the world. He seems very controlling. I think he’s in it for the settlement.

And the Compulsory Gay Associate (that every airheaded female celebrity needs to have) Bobby Trendy said the following:

I don’t know any woman who let that man’s private parts near her – even if they were unattached to his body!

Not very good reviews for Stern. But what do you expect? The man is a dogpoo-stain on the upholstery of life. Can there be anything nice to say about him while he, like a vampire, sucks Anna Nicole dry of the little bit of life she possibly had.

Larry Birkhead climbing the Z-List ladder

Larry Birkhead, have you heard of him? Neither have I. Well actually I had an entry about him earlier last week, in reference to his claim that he is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.

So whatever, right? Wrong. It was announced earlier last night, that Birkhead has filed a paternity suit against Anna Nicole Smith to get her to come to California and have her newborn baby Dannie Lynn Smith tested and himself tested to determine his paternity.

How freaky is this? This follows, based on my earlier entry, logically from my theory about 2 men using a mildly retarded celebrity to climb the celebrity ladder from the Z-List where they currently are, to some semblance of a D-List.

Well whatever it is, the suit is clearly in bad taste following the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son Daniel. Let us suppose that Birkhead is legitimately worried and let us suppose that he legitimately fears that Anna Nicole is trying to flee with his baby by splitting to the Bahamas… But what the freaking hell does he think, did she engineer the death of her own son in order to move the spotlight away from the paternity issue?? I mean, seriously, he couldn’t wait a couple of months until Daniel was in the ground before filing this stupid lawsuit?

I don’t know what’s going on, especially with respect to Howard K. Stern exchanging vows with Anna Nicole and then Anna Nicole saying that they are not married. This is a Trailer Park Opera at its worst. But no matter how Trailer Park Anna Nicole is or how ditzed-out of her mind she is, let her grieve a little bit for the death of her son. That is not a joke.

These 2 guys are just the scum of the earth. Scum! Douchebags — the both of them.

Anna Nicole Smith exchanges vows with hanger-on

It should be illegal for how some people exploit the retarded. This past Friday, there was a report that Anna Nicole Smith exchanged some kind of weird “eternal friendship” vows with long-time groupie Howard K. Stern.

As noted in my earlier entry about who the father of Smith’s baby is, Howard K. Stern is just a below Z-List celebrity looking for a free lunch (this is my opinion; I have to state this part, for after all — he is a lawyer :)). So now he finally got it into her head how much he loves her and how he’d like to marry her. The trouble is that she’s been through so much with the death of her son Daniel and the baby and all that and like… Can’t he freaking leave her alone to grieve in her own retarded way?!?

No. Like a goddamn vulture, he’s right in there with the stupid ceremony in the Carribean and the press releases and whatever else. Leave her the hell alone you moron!

Oh another interesting thing. The release came from TrimSpa, the diet pill company… Like how screwed up is that? Stay tuned for more stupid things coming very soon (I bet).

Anna Nicole Smith really living up to the trailer trash moniker

Yesterday on Larry King Live, Anna Nicole Smith’s long time hanger-on and friend Howard K. Stern (who purports to also be her lawyer) admitted that he is the father of Smith’s baby.

Quelle surprise. At this point, the only thing that separates Anna Nicole Smith from the trailer park is a couple of million dollars and some diet pills.

But seriously. This is a story right out of Jerry Springer, since earlier in the summer “freelance journalist” Larry Birkhead claimed to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby and asked for a paternity suit. All we need is some folding chairs to be thrown around and an audience wearing triple extra-large football jerseys yelling “JERRY! JERRY!”

Howard K. Stern has disputed Birkhead’s claim. Stern says that he believes himself to be the father and that he loves Anna Nicole Smith and hopes that she shares his feelings. How sad are you Stern? Have you ever considered getting a real job you giant freaking douche bag?

What’s most immoral about this is that whoever impregnated Anna Nicole, pretty impregnated a functionally retarded person. Poor Anna Nicole and poor baby.