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Donald Trump cartoon coming

Rumours of a pilot of a cartoon about Donald Trump. Donald is so desperate to become a celebrity it’s sickening. Just stay home Donald. You’re old, you most likely smell like Preparation H. It’s over.

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Donald Trump makes words of wisdom come out his ass

Donald Trump has spoken out on Paris Hilton:

Paris said she wants to build a brand just like Donald Trump. And I don’t know if she’s done it the same way but she is smart like a fox. People say, ‘Oh, she’s not smart, she’s not this, she’s not that.’ She’s done a very good job.

Donald Trump and Larry KingDonald who the f*ck are you kidding? Who? Not me. If a donkey said something nice about you, you would be on your knees pleasuring it orally. Give me a break you giant, toupe-ed, douchebag. Oh sorry. Those are glorified hair extensions, not a toupe. My bad.

What’s this picture about, you ask? That’s a picture of Larry King petting the wolverine that has woven its nest on Donald Trump’s head.

Trump Vodka making its debut

Donald Trump has unveiled his own brand of vodka, having this to say about the brew:

Trump Vodka will be a major player in the vodka arena – it’s a superb product and it’s beautifully packaged…

Have some shame Donald. If it’s not shame for such shameless self-promotion then at least shame for selling anything with a scent of your own brewed sweat and semen. At least that is what it must be brewed from, since how else can you get the essence of the Donald into every bottle?

Donald Trump admires Brad Pitt

Here’s what Donald Trump said about Pitt on his blog:

Obviously, Brad is trying to be a social activist and make a
point . . . Or at least that’s what he wants people to think. Maybe
he’s just come up with an excellent way to stay a bachelor. It makes
him look really concerned about the plight of other people. Yet at the
same time, he doesn’t have to get married. This guy is smarter than I
thought.

Yeah Donald, but you’re stupid, so if someone outwits you or is smarter than that head of yours with the roadkill glued on top, then it’s not a very big achievement!

Martha Stewart hip replacement

Oof. Lloyd Grove reports that Martha is slated to go in for the operation sometime soon.

Nothing tells you you’re old like a hip replacement Martha. That’s Ok. Don’t worry. As Tyler Durden says: “even the Mona Lisa is falling apart”. Look at your arch nemesis Donald Trump, he’s got those freaky hairplugs. Teri Hatcher looks like her own wax statue from that celebrity wax museum. Don’t be sad Martha. Just a work a little less hard.