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The 2012 Maxim hot 100 list, really?

Has everybody seen the Maxim hot 100 list? I realize that when lists are compiled, especially ones concerning beauty, that not everybody will be satisfied. Obviously beauty is defined differently, depending on the beholder. With this in mind, I can understand some of the top choices while not necessarily agreeing with them. I don’t find Bar Refaeli to be the most gorgeous woman on the list, though I can understand why she would or could claim the title.

However, there are those that are truly making me question the judgement of those that compiled the list. Here are some of the notable what the fucks, that come to mind (in no real order):

  1. Amanda Knox (Is this supposed to drive controversy, and increase the popularity of Maxim?)
  2. Pippa Middleton (She has to be the most boring, plainest English woman included on this list. My household plants are more attractive and exciting than this woman. Pippa Middleton is plain porridge with NO sugar added.)
  3. JWOWW (What the fuck is this name, is she some kind of porn star?)
  4. Kristen Bell (Meh.)
  5. Stacey Keibler (Is this a popularity contest, or did George Clooney just make the list?)
  6. Lake Bell (I really don’t know. While her face is certainly unique, should she really be part of the hot 100 list?)
  7. Rihanna (Are we ignoring all of her fashion missteps as of late?)
  8. Selena Gomez (I thought this was a list of women. Selena Gomez has the face of a forever child, and I feel like a pedophile looking at ‘sexy’ pictures of her.)
  9. Jennifer Love Hewitt (WTF! Do men really find this try-hard, has-been woman attractive?!??)
  10. Ashley Green (Really? This Twilight star wannabe?)
  11. Lea Michelle (Um. Her personality really cancels out any attractiveness that she may have.)
  12. Katy Perry (Do her jugs really make up for everything else?)

This isn’t so much a list of attractiveness, as it is popularity.

Where is Emilia Clarke, Natalie Portman, Kristin Kreuk, Jessica Chastain, Zoe Kravitz, Chanel Iman, Amanda Seyfried, Emily Blunt, Priyanka Chopra, Irina Shayk, Freida Pinto, Liv Tyler, Angelina Jolie (yes she is skinny, but you can’t deny she has a gorgeous face), and Giselle Bundchen to name a few…

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Chris Brown is a twat, is supposedly talented (yet lip-syncs), and has crazy fans

Well who knew? The twat that is Chris Brown, supposedly lip-synced his way through the Billboard Music Awards this past weekend. This is nothing surprising, and I guess that most artists at least one time or another probably do this. I mean, don’t we all have a bad day from time to time. Shall we revisit this epic lip-syncing performance:

So lets not hate on Chris Brown for this. Lets hate on Chris Brown for the obvious. He’s a fucking twat, and expects everything to be handed to him just because he has so-called ‘talent’. So he can sing, but does this mean that he is immune to the same standards that we all must live by? To be forgiven, one must act in a remorseful behaviour, show in actions that he has changed, and generally become a better person. All of his actions post-Rihanna beating did not show remorse in his own actions, but rather remorse in his being caught. I don’t understand how celebrities can justify this as Chris Brown being ‘sorry for his actions’. Oh hello Cheryl Cole, who are you again?

Maybe I am mixing up a few things. Maybe he is/was sorry for his actions, and maybe what we are seeing now is Chris’ true personality. We are mixing up his twatty, douchy, scumbaggery of a personality with the event that happened years ago. All I see is an ungrateful, entitled celebrity brat, crying because he is not getting his way. How dare you mention what he did to Rihanna, just because it appears that he is not sorry and has not acted according to what a normal human being with regret would. END OF RANT.

Now that Chris Brown’s crazy female fans have forgiven him, they are pulling the insane female act on other celebrities that criticize him. Should we really expect anything less? Who else would become a fan of Chris Brown, but a crazy, fucked up woman with a deranged sense of right and wrong. In criticism of his  Billboard Awards Show performance, it appears that Chrissy Teigen is finding out what it means to encounter a crazy Chris Brown fan.

Ashley Olsen shows that she is human

I don’t want to criticize Ashley Olsen for this photo, because as a woman I know that I probably don’t look so hot without makeup. Why should I judge when I can definitely say that I do not have such a great body in a bikini (though I would hope that I wouldn’t judge if I did).

Instead I want to say that this side of Ashley is quite refreshing. I didn’t realize that she after all was human, or had any emotions but frowny face. I realize this isn’t an emotion, but how else can you describe this:

And no, I have no idea which girl is Ashley Olsen and which is Mary-Kate Olsen.

Miley Cyrus falls into Hollywood’s standards

It would be hard to be a celebrity, and be forced to submit to the every day stress to be skinny, thin, and to fit into a size zero. I know it would fuck me up to see blogs writing about how thin or fat I have become, examining every inch of me, constantly aware of every imperfection. I know that I would never be able to submit myself to such constant scrutiny. But then, Miley Cyrus was born into this world and has known nothing but the Hollywood way of life.

I don’t want to be a part of the scrutiny, and I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to live under such a magnifying glass. So I wont say a word for or against Miley Cyrus and her new weight loss.

Hilary Duff’s little man Luca

I don’t really have anything to say about Hilary Duff’s son Luca. He’s adorable, that’s all that can be said.

I don’t agree that criticism of any celebrity should include the children. Celebrity children should be off limits until they come of age, or do something stupid on their own to become noteworthy. Until that time, I say here’s Luca and he’s adorable. Also, I wish an adult sized shirt of this banana onesie existed.

Apparently the mini-van majority goes crazy for babies though. So here you go. Like I said. A picture of Hilary Duff’s son Luca. Did you get that?

Nina Dobrev fondles Conan O’Brien

That was mighty crafty of her, wasn’t it? I suppose if you were to try to cop your way into a feel of Conan’s junk, you might as well do it on national television in front of a live audience. And why not? If I were a man, I sure as hell wouldn’t be complaining about this. Do you think Conan has a hard on, and runs around after the incident to hide it?

Jennifer Lopez and her man-whore

What a sad, desperate woman. Look at this man-whore. There is no way that Jennifer Lopez is dating this young man for anything other than sex. But come on, is this really what she is in to? He looks like every other dickhead at a night club trying to take you home that night. There is no way he is not a douche. And why this dickhead? She is Jennifer Lopez god-damnit! She could probably get any man-whore that she wanted!

Why else would she be opening her legs up for this ‘man’? His mind? His humour? His big heart? Oh yes, I can just imagine the conversation at their dinner table right now.

The best is this quote as stated from an ‘inside’ source into Casper and Jennifer’s relationship: “He treats her like a queen…and centers everything on Jennifer.” WTF. How narcissistic do you have to be, to allow the person you are dating, center everything on yourself? What a healthy relationship that must be. Well I guess Casper Smart realizes just who his sugar mama is, and what he has to do to keep the money and privileges rolling in. I wonder how long until she is married and ‘with child’ again.