I realize how redundant that statement is. After all, isn’t Kim Kardashian one of a clan of the Kardashian’s that acquire their wealth through attention whoring? And who is Kanye West, if not the ultimate attention whore and douchebag? Ultimately their pairing shouldn’t be surprising.
And who really cares about these two. They are the equivalent of a train wreck. You can’t help but stare. The only question their pairing brings, is why hasn’t the world self destructed yet? Why do we even exist, if such douchebaggery pairing makes the top gossip news. There is no hope for humanity, if these two attention whores equal interesting and exciting. The only question that remains, is when will a Kanye West and Kim Kardashian sex tape be ‘accidentally’ released?
Even looking at a picture of these two fuckers makes me want to punch myself.
According to The Sun in the British Isles, K-Fed is trying to hawk a sextape of him and Britney Spears. The price tag somewhere in the neighbourhood of $50 mil.
Now you can tell that Britney is not not-inbred and not not-a-hick and not not-deserving-of-the-stupidest-person-award. I mean, ok… She’s the wounded party here and we should all feel sorry for her for the douche-baggy way that Kevin Federline is behaving… But come the hell on! You married a man who thinks Professional Wrestling is high art and Cheetos are high cuisine!
Ok fine. Maybe she thought him good looking and a great conversationalist like her cousins who are also her sisters, but… To make a sextape with him? Screw the sextape… To have children with him??! Listen. She deserves what she gets and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
I’m sure that Federline won’t get $50 mil for the tape. He’s waiting too long. But a cool $15 mil will be just enough to keep him in the lifestyle to which he’s become accustomed: drinking that fancy Coors Light and wearing pants.
I was going to write about this sooner, however on the Howard Stern Show last week the porn monger David Hans Schmidt let Stern preview the tape and comment on it as it was going on.
Nothing notable, except that both Howard and his sidekick Robin Quivers commented on how huge Screech’s endowment is. At some point it was referred to as a tree-trunk.
Nothing else was notable about the interview, except everyone found out how greasy and discomforting David Hans Schmidt is. He is a celebrity in his own right being behind other celebrity sex-interest paraphernalia like O. J. Simpson’s sextape, Tonya Harding’s sextape, and apparently he tried to sell the contents of Paris Hilton’s locker once. A really creepy guy.
On MSNBC’s Rita Cosby, Screech (aka Dustin Diamond) said the following about his sex tape and his “efforts” to prevent it from being made public:
We could spend a fortune fighting it in court, with little bits already being leaked out on the Internet or we could suck it up and say you know what, it could be a losing battle, we’ll make money if we just side with it.
Riiiight. Cause that’s what happened, Screech. I believe you SO much. What do you find more difficult to believe: (a) a former child actor — who used to be promised all the baubbles and rewards of celebrity-dom, but has now fallen on hard times and obscurity — sells his sextape to a pornographer in order to make some money and to at least make it into the celebrity Z-List or (b) the tape accidentally leaked to the media.
That is Dustin Diamond. He is just lucky to have released his sextape in between the releases of much bigger stars. I’m sure that the next sextape, no matter who it is by, will over shadow the below-Z-list celebrity of Screech.
But the man is milking this sextape for all he’s got. I guess that you can’t really fault him. What else could he do to at least get his name back into the news? Nothing. So he sold his tape to some really sleazy guy named David Schmidt.
I don’t know who Schmidt is but you can surmise that he’s not unlike those fellas a couple of years ago that helped distribute Paris Hilton’s sextape when she wasn’t exactly burning up the gossip front pages. Schmidt is due to appear on the Howard Stern Show to give an accounting live, as the sextape plays, of various scenes. Sleazy, to say the least.
It’ll be amusing to see this sextape do the same for Screech as it did for Paris Hilton. I can’t wait (or maybe I can) to see Screech in tight little outfits on the red carpet, letting out accidental vagina slips, putting out dance music singles, and his own line of Dirty Sanchez perfume for women.
Fascinating. Well not really, fascinating… What’s the world that I’m looking forward? … Um.. Oh yes! Sad. Very very sad.