Archive | Celebrity Douchebags RSS for this section

Jennifer Lopez and her man-whore

What a sad, desperate woman. Look at this man-whore. There is no way that Jennifer Lopez is dating this young man for anything other than sex. But come on, is this really what she is in to? He looks like every other dickhead at a night club trying to take you home that night. There is no way he is not a douche. And why this dickhead? She is Jennifer Lopez god-damnit! She could probably get any man-whore that she wanted!

Why else would she be opening her legs up for this ‘man’? His mind? His humour? His big heart? Oh yes, I can just imagine the conversation at their dinner table right now.

The best is this quote as stated from an ‘inside’ source into Casper and Jennifer’s relationship: “He treats her like a queen…and centers everything on Jennifer.” WTF. How narcissistic do you have to be, to allow the person you are dating, center everything on yourself? What a healthy relationship that must be. Well I guess Casper Smart realizes just who his sugar mama is, and what he has to do to keep the money and privileges rolling in. I wonder how long until she is married and ‘with child’ again.

Justin Bieber is the manly-woman in the relationship (i.e. the butch lesbian)

Here I offer you proof:

And spare me any “oh Levenstar, you are perpetuating stereotypes by suggesting that women can’t like sports. You are supporting the patriarchy derived notions of what it is to be a woman, blah, blah, blah “. This isn’t what this post is about. Obviously women can be into sports.

What I am proposing is that perhaps Selena Gomez is in fact a lesbian. This would explain everything about her and Justin’s relationship. Look at his hair, look at his face! Is he wearing makeup? And WTF is that tool wearing? Justin Bieber is the ‘manly’ female in the relationship! He’s mostly a woman trapped in a woman’s body, pretending to be male. It makes perfect sense!

Why is Justin Bieber still around?

I am genuinely curious about this. What do the tweens see in him (and is it only the tweens)? He looks like a female lesbian, and has only matured into this with every year. I am convinced he is a woman pretending to be a man. Aside from his questionable douchy/bratty appearance with loose pants, the requisite diamond earring, and leather jacket, what does he have to offer? His music is not innovative, though I will admit he might be more talented than the average singer. But what is it??? What makes this brat so appealing and attractive? Do not say talent. All the other traits that I have listed make talent a moot point.

Here’s the brat, apparently 18 years old (really?) attending some kind of Las Vegas boxing match. Who cares, really.

Kellan Lutz is a tool (nothing new)…

Look at this Oompa Loompa. How can anybody think this is a good look. From his hat to his mismatched tie/shirt/jacket combo. Has anyone ever thought of this man as good looking???

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are attention whores

I realize how redundant that statement is. After all, isn’t Kim Kardashian one of a clan of the Kardashian’s that acquire their wealth through attention whoring? And who is Kanye West, if not the ultimate attention whore and douchebag? Ultimately their pairing shouldn’t be surprising.

And who really cares about these two. They are the equivalent of a train wreck. You can’t help but stare. The only question their pairing brings, is why hasn’t the world self destructed yet? Why do we even exist, if such douchebaggery pairing makes the top gossip news. There is no hope for humanity, if these two attention whores equal interesting and exciting. The only question that remains, is when will a Kanye West and Kim Kardashian sex tape be ‘accidentally’ released?

Even looking at a picture of these two fuckers makes me want to punch myself.