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Snooki is unleashing a baby boy on the world

Oh I just cannot wait! And did you hear she is supposedly engaged to some tool named Jionni LaValle? Who would become engaged to this (Snooki showing off her pregnancy cleavage):

I realize how harsh I am sounding, but from my experience watching 10 minutes of the first Jersey Shore episode (that’s all my curiosity could stomach), I really don’t see how this woman will ever be anything other than a bad mother.

Is Gwyneth Paltrow a bad mother?

You judge for yourself. For me, I have no say in this matter since I myself am not a mother.

I probably would not be as cool a mother as Gwyneth Paltrow. I would totally look my unprivileged nose down on any mother that brings any child under the age of 12 to a Jay-Z concert. And don’t ask me why 12 is the magical age for a Jay-Z concert.

Miley Cyrus falls into Hollywood’s standards

It would be hard to be a celebrity, and be forced to submit to the every day stress to be skinny, thin, and to fit into a size zero. I know it would fuck me up to see blogs writing about how thin or fat I have become, examining every inch of me, constantly aware of every imperfection. I know that I would never be able to submit myself to such constant scrutiny. But then, Miley Cyrus was born into this world and has known nothing but the Hollywood way of life.

I don’t want to be a part of the scrutiny, and I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to live under such a magnifying glass. So I wont say a word for or against Miley Cyrus and her new weight loss.

There is no hope for our planet (have you heard Snooki is pregnant?)!

This scum is pregnant, and about to become a mother to a child with no hope at becoming a productive and useful member of society. Do you think Snooki’s child will become a doctor, a lawyer, or a scientist? Or any number of other useful professions that do not include famewhore?

Look at this horrid display of a pregnant woman. Where did she find this dress, and how could she think this was attractive? If Snooki is not the trash of all humanity, I really do not know what is.

P.S. Calling her trailer trash is too good for her, and far too insulting to trailer trash…they have standards too.

Hilary Duff’s little man Luca

I don’t really have anything to say about Hilary Duff’s son Luca. He’s adorable, that’s all that can be said.

I don’t agree that criticism of any celebrity should include the children. Celebrity children should be off limits until they come of age, or do something stupid on their own to become noteworthy. Until that time, I say here’s Luca and he’s adorable. Also, I wish an adult sized shirt of this banana onesie existed.

Apparently the mini-van majority goes crazy for babies though. So here you go. Like I said. A picture of Hilary Duff’s son Luca. Did you get that?

Megan Fox and her frozen face (oh and pregnancy talk, blah blah blah)

Has anybody seen a video of Megan Fox’s face lately? WTF has she done to herself? I know this idea is not new, and she has been fucking up her face for a long time already. I guess because she has sort of been hiding out lately, in the background, that I had forgotten just how truly she messed up her beauty. Take a look.

Oh and she refuses to talk about her pregnancy. I wonder why? Is this a publicist derived scheme or something she herself is uncomfortable with? You can hear the publicist shutting down the question though, and her awkward laughter in response to the baby mention. I don’t know anything about the business side of Hollywood, but what would be the advantage of not talking about her pregnancy? I guess there is an obligation whileĀ publicizingĀ a product, to not include any of your personal bullshit. However, why hire the celebrity in the first place? You are hiring what they represent, who they are, to elevate your product status. Anyways end of thoughts…

Here is an older pre-fucked up version of Megan Fox for you to compare to.

Accounting for her obvious youthfulness, baby fat cheeks, and lighter hair colour, you can’t deny that she fucked up. To each their own, I guess.

 

Drew Barrymore has a bun in the oven.

Who knew? Suddenly I have been seeing photos of her walking around looking pregnant. Interesting. I wonder if this means that she is ready to settle down and tame her wild child ways. Her she is walking with her husband to be Will Kopelman.

In any case, let me take this opportunity to hate on a few words that are often associated with pregnancy. I seriously cannot stand the usage of ‘preggers’ or ‘baby bump’. WTF, and who the fuck would want to refer to their unborn child in this way? It’s disgustingly white trash-like to me, and I just shudder at the common usage of these terms in most celebrity gossip websites, on facebook, etc. Gross.