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Snooki is unleashing a baby boy on the world

Oh I just cannot wait! And did you hear she is supposedly engaged to some tool named Jionni LaValle? Who would become engaged to this (Snooki showing off her pregnancy cleavage):

I realize how harsh I am sounding, but from my experience watching 10 minutes of the first Jersey Shore episode (that’s all my curiosity could stomach), I really don’t see how this woman will ever be anything other than a bad mother.

Megan Fox is growing larger (due to pregnancy)

I refuse to call it a baby bump, hence the awkward title. So there she is, finally beginning to look pregnant. I wonder how long she will look this amazing for. Do you think she will be another Jessica Simpson?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are playing us all like a finely tuned violin

You got what you wanted (this is directed at you minivan majority)! Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are finally engaged. They were living in sin for far too long. Can we hope now that their children’s souls will be saved from hell? How could they go on living such a poor example for their children, don’t they care about their salvation?!??! And do we really believe that Angelina Jolie is a changed woman? The saying is, once a home wrecker, always a home wrecker, right?

For ages, these two were touting the whole “we wont get married until everyone can marry” tune to the press. It seems the story has not changed. They are still following this mantra, though with a very public and well placed proposal and ring to support their next round of movie promotions. In short, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are now engaged because it “made sense”, but do not see a wedding in the foreseeable future. This will only change once everybody in the US can legally marry. Oh they are dreamers, are they not. The US is going backwards in human and civil rights, do they really think they will ever get married in their lifetime with an attitude like that?

I predict that these two will not stand by their morals, and conveniently marry when it ‘makes sense’. Do you think it will be this upcoming Oscar season, or the next?

And look at that honker of a ring. What man could possibly think that design could ever be a good idea?

There is no hope for our planet (have you heard Snooki is pregnant?)!

This scum is pregnant, and about to become a mother to a child with no hope at becoming a productive and useful member of society. Do you think Snooki’s child will become a doctor, a lawyer, or a scientist? Or any number of other useful professions that do not include famewhore?

Look at this horrid display of a pregnant woman. Where did she find this dress, and how could she think this was attractive? If Snooki is not the trash of all humanity, I really do not know what is.

P.S. Calling her trailer trash is too good for her, and far too insulting to trailer trash…they have standards too.

Hilary Duff’s little man Luca

I don’t really have anything to say about Hilary Duff’s son Luca. He’s adorable, that’s all that can be said.

I don’t agree that criticism of any celebrity should include the children. Celebrity children should be off limits until they come of age, or do something stupid on their own to become noteworthy. Until that time, I say here’s Luca and he’s adorable. Also, I wish an adult sized shirt of this banana onesie existed.

Apparently the mini-van majority goes crazy for babies though. So here you go. Like I said. A picture of Hilary Duff’s son Luca. Did you get that?

Megan Fox and her frozen face (oh and pregnancy talk, blah blah blah)

Has anybody seen a video of Megan Fox’s face lately? WTF has she done to herself? I know this idea is not new, and she has been fucking up her face for a long time already. I guess because she has sort of been hiding out lately, in the background, that I had forgotten just how truly she messed up her beauty. Take a look.

Oh and she refuses to talk about her pregnancy. I wonder why? Is this a publicist derived scheme or something she herself is uncomfortable with? You can hear the publicist shutting down the question though, and her awkward laughter in response to the baby mention. I don’t know anything about the business side of Hollywood, but what would be the advantage of not talking about her pregnancy? I guess there is an obligation while publicizing a product, to not include any of your personal bullshit. However, why hire the celebrity in the first place? You are hiring what they represent, who they are, to elevate your product status. Anyways end of thoughts…

Here is an older pre-fucked up version of Megan Fox for you to compare to.

Accounting for her obvious youthfulness, baby fat cheeks, and lighter hair colour, you can’t deny that she fucked up. To each their own, I guess.

 

Drew Barrymore has a bun in the oven.

Who knew? Suddenly I have been seeing photos of her walking around looking pregnant. Interesting. I wonder if this means that she is ready to settle down and tame her wild child ways. Her she is walking with her husband to be Will Kopelman.

In any case, let me take this opportunity to hate on a few words that are often associated with pregnancy. I seriously cannot stand the usage of ‘preggers’ or ‘baby bump’. WTF, and who the fuck would want to refer to their unborn child in this way? It’s disgustingly white trash-like to me, and I just shudder at the common usage of these terms in most celebrity gossip websites, on facebook, etc. Gross.