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Snooki is unleashing a baby boy on the world

Oh I just cannot wait! And did you hear she is supposedly engaged to some tool named Jionni LaValle? Who would become engaged to this (Snooki showing off her pregnancy cleavage):

I realize how harsh I am sounding, but from my experience watching 10 minutes of the first Jersey Shore episode (that’s all my curiosity could stomach), I really don’t see how this woman will ever be anything other than a bad mother.

Chris Brown is a twat, is supposedly talented (yet lip-syncs), and has crazy fans

Well who knew? The twat that is Chris Brown, supposedly lip-synced his way through the Billboard Music Awards this past weekend. This is nothing surprising, and I guess that most artists at least one time or another probably do this. I mean, don’t we all have a bad day from time to time. Shall we revisit this epic lip-syncing performance:

So lets not hate on Chris Brown for this. Lets hate on Chris Brown for the obvious. He’s a fucking twat, and expects everything to be handed to him just because he has so-called ‘talent’. So he can sing, but does this mean that he is immune to the same standards that we all must live by? To be forgiven, one must act in a remorseful behaviour, show in actions that he has changed, and generally become a better person. All of his actions post-Rihanna beating did not show remorse in his own actions, but rather remorse in his being caught. I don’t understand how celebrities can justify this as Chris Brown being ‘sorry for his actions’. Oh hello Cheryl Cole, who are you again?

Maybe I am mixing up a few things. Maybe he is/was sorry for his actions, and maybe what we are seeing now is Chris’ true personality. We are mixing up his twatty, douchy, scumbaggery of a personality with the event that happened years ago. All I see is an ungrateful, entitled celebrity brat, crying because he is not getting his way. How dare you mention what he did to Rihanna, just because it appears that he is not sorry and has not acted according to what a normal human being with regret would. END OF RANT.

Now that Chris Brown’s crazy female fans have forgiven him, they are pulling the insane female act on other celebrities that criticize him. Should we really expect anything less? Who else would become a fan of Chris Brown, but a crazy, fucked up woman with a deranged sense of right and wrong. In criticism of his  Billboard Awards Show performance, it appears that Chrissy Teigen is finding out what it means to encounter a crazy Chris Brown fan.

There is no hope for our planet (have you heard Snooki is pregnant?)!

This scum is pregnant, and about to become a mother to a child with no hope at becoming a productive and useful member of society. Do you think Snooki’s child will become a doctor, a lawyer, or a scientist? Or any number of other useful professions that do not include famewhore?

Look at this horrid display of a pregnant woman. Where did she find this dress, and how could she think this was attractive? If Snooki is not the trash of all humanity, I really do not know what is.

P.S. Calling her trailer trash is too good for her, and far too insulting to trailer trash…they have standards too.

Jennifer Lopez and her man-whore

What a sad, desperate woman. Look at this man-whore. There is no way that Jennifer Lopez is dating this young man for anything other than sex. But come on, is this really what she is in to? He looks like every other dickhead at a night club trying to take you home that night. There is no way he is not a douche. And why this dickhead? She is Jennifer Lopez god-damnit! She could probably get any man-whore that she wanted!

Why else would she be opening her legs up for this ‘man’? His mind? His humour? His big heart? Oh yes, I can just imagine the conversation at their dinner table right now.

The best is this quote as stated from an ‘inside’ source into Casper and Jennifer’s relationship: “He treats her like a queen…and centers everything on Jennifer.” WTF. How narcissistic do you have to be, to allow the person you are dating, center everything on yourself? What a healthy relationship that must be. Well I guess Casper Smart realizes just who his sugar mama is, and what he has to do to keep the money and privileges rolling in. I wonder how long until she is married and ‘with child’ again.

Justin Bieber is the manly-woman in the relationship (i.e. the butch lesbian)

Here I offer you proof:

And spare me any “oh Levenstar, you are perpetuating stereotypes by suggesting that women can’t like sports. You are supporting the patriarchy derived notions of what it is to be a woman, blah, blah, blah “. This isn’t what this post is about. Obviously women can be into sports.

What I am proposing is that perhaps Selena Gomez is in fact a lesbian. This would explain everything about her and Justin’s relationship. Look at his hair, look at his face! Is he wearing makeup? And WTF is that tool wearing? Justin Bieber is the ‘manly’ female in the relationship! He’s mostly a woman trapped in a woman’s body, pretending to be male. It makes perfect sense!

Is Kristen Stewart still the best dressed?

Was she ever? What a horribly tacky outfit. What’s with the blocks of colour, the different fabrics, the shiny, pointy bodice. Why does this dress even exist? And what are those shoes? They look like pumps that have been tied to her feet with bandages. Is this the new hipster hospital chic?

And will this girl ever do something about her hair? I get that she has beautiful long brown hair, but does it always have to be the same? It looks like she rolled out of bed, forgot to wash her hair, and threw on some items that were lying around her bed. Everything about this screams “I know I am hot, and I can do whatever I want, so I wont even try”.

This is way too much awesome for one picture

Is this really what beautiful is supposed to be? We have a disappearing rat-faced woman (aka Rachel Zoe), posing with a turbined gold encrusted supermodel (aka Karolina Kurkova). This photo gives me so many emotions, I am so confused and confounded by what I am seeing. I can appreciate this much try, and though it resounds in ultimate and total failure, I get where they were going with this so-called art.

Question: Is Karolina Kurkova a giant, or is Rachel Zoe a mouse?

Why is Justin Bieber still around?

I am genuinely curious about this. What do the tweens see in him (and is it only the tweens)? He looks like a female lesbian, and has only matured into this with every year. I am convinced he is a woman pretending to be a man. Aside from his questionable douchy/bratty appearance with loose pants, the requisite diamond earring, and leather jacket, what does he have to offer? His music is not innovative, though I will admit he might be more talented than the average singer. But what is it??? What makes this brat so appealing and attractive? Do not say talent. All the other traits that I have listed make talent a moot point.

Here’s the brat, apparently 18 years old (really?) attending some kind of Las Vegas boxing match. Who cares, really.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are attention whores

I realize how redundant that statement is. After all, isn’t Kim Kardashian one of a clan of the Kardashian’s that acquire their wealth through attention whoring? And who is Kanye West, if not the ultimate attention whore and douchebag? Ultimately their pairing shouldn’t be surprising.

And who really cares about these two. They are the equivalent of a train wreck. You can’t help but stare. The only question their pairing brings, is why hasn’t the world self destructed yet? Why do we even exist, if such douchebaggery pairing makes the top gossip news. There is no hope for humanity, if these two attention whores equal interesting and exciting. The only question that remains, is when will a Kanye West and Kim Kardashian sex tape be ‘accidentally’ released?

Even looking at a picture of these two fuckers makes me want to punch myself.

2 idiots: Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin

There are no divorces messier than those of Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. There was much talk of lawsuits and counter-lawsuits a couple of years ago when they were divorcing and trying to iron out the custody issue.

But everything seemed to be settled until yesterday when Basinger was arraigned in court on charges that she broke the child custody agreement with Baldwin.

Among the allegations: she didn’t tell Baldwin when she would be out of town so that he could care for their daughter, she didn’t let Baldwin know when their daughter had some (unspecified) injuries — injuries that required medical help. Read More…