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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are playing us all like a finely tuned violin

You got what you wanted (this is directed at you minivan majority)! Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are finally engaged. They were living in sin for far too long. Can we hope now that their children’s souls will be saved from hell? How could they go on living such a poor example for their children, don’t they care about their salvation?!??! And do we really believe that Angelina Jolie is a changed woman? The saying is, once a home wrecker, always a home wrecker, right?

For ages, these two were touting the whole “we wont get married until everyone can marry” tune to the press. It seems the story has not changed. They are still following this mantra, though with a very public and well placed proposal and ring to support their next round of movie promotions. In short, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are now engaged because it “made sense”, but do not see a wedding in the¬†foreseeable future. This will only change once everybody in the US can legally marry. Oh they are dreamers, are they not. The US is going backwards in human and civil rights, do they really think they will ever get married in their lifetime with an attitude like that?

I predict that these two will not stand by their morals, and conveniently marry when it ‘makes sense’. Do you think it will be this upcoming Oscar season, or the next?

And look at that honker of a ring. What man could possibly think that design could ever be a good idea?

Jorge Garcia funny picture

While reading this entry on TMZ, I found the following funny picture. Garcia ought to see this picture, cause like he should really get an alternate color to pink for that dog’s leash.

Jorge Garcia with a tiny chihuahua

Brad Pitt wants to have a boy

That’s what Page Six reported yesterday from their super secret “inside sources”. Why is this important? Well it’s not. Nothing is, really.

What’s interesting is their same source (rolling my eyes) reported that Angelina Jolie wants to adopt and wants to leave her womb unburdened of Pitt’s semen. Why? Well she wants to be in a damn movie sometime soon!

It’s that old feminist dilemma: should I be bound to the man permanently by carrying his child for 9 months and then having him take care of me OR should I focus on my career in a male-dominated world, making my money off my looks and very vaguely off my real talent. Well I don’t mean that this is every woman’s dilemma, I mean this is Jolie’s dilemma.

Either way, Angelina want to adopt, but Pitt wants an offspring from his loins. Hrrumpfh says I. Apparently neither one of you have heard of sperm donation or surrogate fertilization. I suggest Jennifer Aniston as the surrogate parent to Pitt’s sperm and Jolie’s egg. That would be freaking awesome! Imagine the gossip, the yelling, the … Sheer ecstacy of it all! And remember, I copyrighted this idea, so if Pitt and Jolie ever decide to do as I suggested, tell them I want major royalties.