Archive | May 2012

Heidi Klum for Hunger TV showing off her toned body

Here’s Heidi Klum dialing up the sex for a music video that shows off her great 40 year old body that has given birth to 4 children. Yes I realize that she is a supermodel, but dang I should watch this as inspiration to get my butt of the couch and walk an extra 20 minutes in my workout later tonight.

I actually kind of enjoy this video. One thing I enjoy more, are the comments made by the mini-van majority on People.com about Heidi in this video. Apparently acting in videos, and being sexy at age 40 means that you are a bad mother. So grab some popcorn and have some fun reading the comment section filled with women that take their lives far too seriously.

Snooki is unleashing a baby boy on the world

Oh I just cannot wait! And did you hear she is supposedly engaged to some tool named Jionni LaValle? Who would become engaged to this (Snooki showing off her pregnancy cleavage):

I realize how harsh I am sounding, but from my experience watching 10 minutes of the first Jersey Shore episode (that’s all my curiosity could stomach), I really don’t see how this woman will ever be anything other than a bad mother.

Oh swoon! Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are caught mid-kiss at Cannes

OH my dreams have come true, oh le swoon, oh le happiness. I can now go to bed knowing that the greatest love of all time has been publicly caught on camera, in a kiss to end all kisses. Oh life is great. I shall dream of Bella and Edward tonight, oh sweet vampires if only you were real.

The 2012 Maxim hot 100 list, really?

Has everybody seen the Maxim hot 100 list? I realize that when lists are compiled, especially ones concerning beauty, that not everybody will be satisfied. Obviously beauty is defined differently, depending on the beholder. With this in mind, I can understand some of the top choices while not necessarily agreeing with them. I don’t find Bar Refaeli to be the most gorgeous woman on the list, though I can understand why she would or could claim the title.

However, there are those that are truly making me question the judgement of those that compiled the list. Here are some of the notable what the fucks, that come to mind (in no real order):

  1. Amanda Knox (Is this supposed to drive controversy, and increase the popularity of Maxim?)
  2. Pippa Middleton (She has to be the most boring, plainest English woman included on this list. My household plants are more attractive and exciting than this woman. Pippa Middleton is plain porridge with NO sugar added.)
  3. JWOWW (What the fuck is this name, is she some kind of porn star?)
  4. Kristen Bell (Meh.)
  5. Stacey Keibler (Is this a popularity contest, or did George Clooney just make the list?)
  6. Lake Bell (I really don’t know. While her face is certainly unique, should she really be part of the hot 100 list?)
  7. Rihanna (Are we ignoring all of her fashion missteps as of late?)
  8. Selena Gomez (I thought this was a list of women. Selena Gomez has the face of a forever child, and I feel like a pedophile looking at ‘sexy’ pictures of her.)
  9. Jennifer Love Hewitt (WTF! Do men really find this try-hard, has-been woman attractive?!??)
  10. Ashley Green (Really? This Twilight star wannabe?)
  11. Lea Michelle (Um. Her personality really cancels out any attractiveness that she may have.)
  12. Katy Perry (Do her jugs really make up for everything else?)

This isn’t so much a list of attractiveness, as it is popularity.

Where is Emilia Clarke, Natalie Portman, Kristin Kreuk, Jessica Chastain, Zoe Kravitz, Chanel Iman, Amanda Seyfried, Emily Blunt, Priyanka Chopra, Irina Shayk, Freida Pinto, Liv Tyler, Angelina Jolie (yes she is skinny, but you can’t deny she has a gorgeous face), and Giselle Bundchen to name a few…

Is Nicole Richie pregnant?

Who knew there was an awards ceremony for perfume? Apparently there is an award for everything now. The rich and famous just love to pat themselves on the back for being ‘amazing’, don’t they? Do celebrities even play a part in creating their own fragrances to begin with? Are they not just a name that is placed to a scent?

As a side note, here is Nicole Richie looking beautiful at the FiFi Awards. Is she pregnant? Why do her tatas look so huge, and is it the gown or does she have a bit of a bulge around her stomach. I am not one to hate on a woman for being a little bloated, as it happens to all of us women at least once a month. So if this is the case, then please ignore my comments.

Megan Fox is growing larger (due to pregnancy)

I refuse to call it a baby bump, hence the awkward title. So there she is, finally beginning to look pregnant. I wonder how long she will look this amazing for. Do you think she will be another Jessica Simpson?

Is Gwyneth Paltrow a bad mother?

You judge for yourself. For me, I have no say in this matter since I myself am not a mother.

I probably would not be as cool a mother as Gwyneth Paltrow. I would totally look my unprivileged nose down on any mother that brings any child under the age of 12 to a Jay-Z concert. And don’t ask me why 12 is the magical age for a Jay-Z concert.

Chris Brown is a twat, is supposedly talented (yet lip-syncs), and has crazy fans

Well who knew? The twat that is Chris Brown, supposedly lip-synced his way through the Billboard Music Awards this past weekend. This is nothing surprising, and I guess that most artists at least one time or another probably do this. I mean, don’t we all have a bad day from time to time. Shall we revisit this epic lip-syncing performance:

So lets not hate on Chris Brown for this. Lets hate on Chris Brown for the obvious. He’s a fucking twat, and expects everything to be handed to him just because he has so-called ‘talent’. So he can sing, but does this mean that he is immune to the same standards that we all must live by? To be forgiven, one must act in a remorseful behaviour, show in actions that he has changed, and generally become a better person. All of his actions post-Rihanna beating did not show remorse in his own actions, but rather remorse in his being caught. I don’t understand how celebrities can justify this as Chris Brown being ‘sorry for his actions’. Oh hello Cheryl Cole, who are you again?

Maybe I am mixing up a few things. Maybe he is/was sorry for his actions, and maybe what we are seeing now is Chris’ true personality. We are mixing up his twatty, douchy, scumbaggery of a personality with the event that happened years ago. All I see is an ungrateful, entitled celebrity brat, crying because he is not getting his way. How dare you mention what he did to Rihanna, just because it appears that he is not sorry and has not acted according to what a normal human being with regret would. END OF RANT.

Now that Chris Brown’s crazy female fans have forgiven him, they are pulling the insane female act on other celebrities that criticize him. Should we really expect anything less? Who else would become a fan of Chris Brown, but a crazy, fucked up woman with a deranged sense of right and wrong. In criticism of his  Billboard Awards Show performance, it appears that Chrissy Teigen is finding out what it means to encounter a crazy Chris Brown fan.

Ashley Olsen shows that she is human

I don’t want to criticize Ashley Olsen for this photo, because as a woman I know that I probably don’t look so hot without makeup. Why should I judge when I can definitely say that I do not have such a great body in a bikini (though I would hope that I wouldn’t judge if I did).

Instead I want to say that this side of Ashley is quite refreshing. I didn’t realize that she after all was human, or had any emotions but frowny face. I realize this isn’t an emotion, but how else can you describe this:

And no, I have no idea which girl is Ashley Olsen and which is Mary-Kate Olsen.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are playing us all like a finely tuned violin

You got what you wanted (this is directed at you minivan majority)! Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are finally engaged. They were living in sin for far too long. Can we hope now that their children’s souls will be saved from hell? How could they go on living such a poor example for their children, don’t they care about their salvation?!??! And do we really believe that Angelina Jolie is a changed woman? The saying is, once a home wrecker, always a home wrecker, right?

For ages, these two were touting the whole “we wont get married until everyone can marry” tune to the press. It seems the story has not changed. They are still following this mantra, though with a very public and well placed proposal and ring to support their next round of movie promotions. In short, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are now engaged because it “made sense”, but do not see a wedding in the foreseeable future. This will only change once everybody in the US can legally marry. Oh they are dreamers, are they not. The US is going backwards in human and civil rights, do they really think they will ever get married in their lifetime with an attitude like that?

I predict that these two will not stand by their morals, and conveniently marry when it ‘makes sense’. Do you think it will be this upcoming Oscar season, or the next?

And look at that honker of a ring. What man could possibly think that design could ever be a good idea?