I don’t like Joe Simpson

As in the father of Ashlee and Jessica Simpson. Why don’t I like him, well I just saw on the blogs that Joe Simpson hit some metal railing with the side of his Ferrari and didn’t bother to get out to check the damage.

What pisses me off the most is that he has a Ferrari!!! Why don’t we investigate HIM for child slavery? Hm? I guarantee you that there must’ve been some sleepless crying nights in the lives of teenage Ashlee and Jessica, when Papa would come down the stairs and hit them over the head for not practicing their singing or not doing enough situps. I can tell that he was such a douchebag even then.

He became rich BECAUSE of his daughters. He didn’t somehow magically cause them to become rich! He enjoys the prestige and wealth because of their singing and performing, and yet he acts like a real sh*theel, wherever he goes. From blocking photographers from taking pictures of his daughters on the red carpet, to ruining their love lives with precisely placed leaks to the paparazzi, to firing their press-people for no good reason whatsoever.

The man is a goddamn nuisance! Why can’t he just leave us all alone and slip off forever into obscurity?!? And now, to boot, he has a Ferrari!! A Ferrari! Damn you, Joe Simpson! Have some shame.

What did you do to deserve that Ferrari? What, you are their manager? Don’t you think that a rancid cup of yogurt could manage Jessica and Ashlee better than you — the failed minister? Or do you think that you deserve something as a sperm donor?

Well heck, why don’t they just give you a bus ticket to Bolivia then and wave you on your way?

This is a personal plea to both Ashlee and Jessica: please kick your no good douchebag of a father to the curb, he is only ruining your careers. And at the same time you can do the whole world a favour by getting him out of the spotlight and out of everyone’s lives.


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